Los Angeles, we have a great show lined up for August’s CollegeHumor Live LA. Also, our own MIKE TRAPP will be hosting a nerdy trivia game show featuring the audience. So if you THINK you know your Adamantium from your Vibrainum and want to prove it, this is the show to come to!
Passages From “To Kill A Mockingbird” If Atticus Finch Were More Like My Dad
“Kids, you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view,” Atticus said solemnly. Then, the smoke alarm went off. “Ah, shoot,” said Atticus. He scurried into the kitchen, then came back holding a skillet of burning hot dogs. “I totally screwed up dinner,” he said. “You kids okay with Denny’s tonight?”
"Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand,” Atticus told Jem. “It’s knowing you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway.” Jem nodded. Atticus pointed to his pants and smiled. “By the way,” he said, "check out these jeans I got at Wal-Mart, half-price.” Jem and I pretended to be impressed.
“It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” That was the only time I heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, but he was actually just telling us the name of a song his college prog-rock band used to perform. Atticus raised an acoustic guitar from under the dinner table and started tuning it, poorly. “Bet you didn’t know your old man used to rock, eh?”
Jem and I ran up the porch steps. “Atticus! There’s a mad dog down the street!” cried Jem. “Grab your rifle!” We found Atticus on the bench reading John Grisham’s The Pelican Brief. “What?” Atticus said, not totally looking up from the book. Jem and I knew once he started with the Grisham Atticus was pretty much done for the night, so we just went inside. He halfheartedly called after us: “Thirty minutes of Nintendo each!”
“But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal,” Atticus told the courtroom. “That institution is the court.” I looked at Jem, who was tearing up with pride. Atticus waved at us and smiled. “Hey Jem! Hey Scout!” he shouted. “Those are my kids, everyone.” Jem clenched his teeth and said, “Dad, shut UP.” As we shuffled out of the courtroom we could hear Atticus starting to beat-box: “My name is Atty Finch and I’m here to say/I believe in equality in a major way!”