Patrick Cassels 100% For Actual!

I write and perform in funny videos with CollegeHumor. You can email me at patrick.cassels@gmail.com, follow me on Twitter @patrick_cassels, or visit my web site www.patrickcassels.com.

July 10, 2014 at 12:10pm
20 notes

Emmy SnubWatch 2014: Pacific Blue

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There were a lot of great shows nominated this year. But there were just as many MAJOR snubs. And no show got swept under the “snub” worse than USA’s Pacific Blue. Why? I have some theories…

-The Academy has a huge stick up their butts

-Pacific Blue has been off the air since 2000

-The show’s depiction of the Santa Monica bike police was too raw and unsettling for voters

-Pacific Blue is too ahead of its time. (I guarantee there will be cops on bikes in five years.)

-No eligible episodes were produced or released this year, making the series completely ineligible.

-Politics.

July 8, 2014 at 12:55pm
99 notes

The Cutest Lines From Taylor Swift’s “Wall Street Journal” Op-Ed

"The music industry is not dying… it’s just coming alive."

The value of an album is based on the amount of heart and soul an artist has bled into a body of work.”

"Then again, what is value but some number invented by a broken institution calling itself the Federal Reserve?"

"And don’t get me started on the IMF."

"I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22 percent of our paychecks shouldn’t go to Uncle Sam.

"Show me. Show me in our Constitution where it says that’s remotely legal?”

"The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race."

"If there were such a thing as ‘justice,’ Alan Greenspan and his merry band of global thieves would be on trial for international crimes."

"I dated a Kennedy. If I printed the things he told me there’d be 10,000 angry Americans outside the Pentagon tomorrow.”

"Bohemian Grove. MK-Ultra. Google it, people."

“‘Speak Now’ is about the NSA. Listen to it again. It’s all there.”

"Someone needs to hit the ‘reset’ button on this whole society, man."

"All I’m saying is I own a cabin in Tahoe, and enough MRE’s to support a small militia for 2 weeks."

"Thanks to everyone who made my tour possible #RedLife." 

July 1, 2014 at 3:01pm
6 notes

"HURRY! THAT ALLIGATOR WHO KILLED THE JAMBALAYA CHEF WITH A TROMBONE IS GETTING AWAY ON A FANBOAT!"

-Scott Bakula with a Cajun Accent

(Source: youtube.com)

June 30, 2014 at 10:38pm
111 notes

Me posing for some goofball photos!!!

8:58pm
35 notes

This video includes the first time I’ve heard the word “Muppet” used as an insult. Also, it’s generally funny as hell.

(Source: youtube.com)

June 28, 2014 at 5:15pm
95 notes
Reblogged from collegehumor
collegehumor:
RSVP for tix! 
Start your month off right and come see CollegeHumor LIVE in Los Angeles on Tuesday, July 1st. It will be the funniest show with the most beautiful people you’ll ever see. Get your tickets now.

collegehumor:

RSVP for tix! 

Start your month off right and come see CollegeHumor LIVE in Los Angeles on Tuesday, July 1st. It will be the funniest show with the most beautiful people you’ll ever see. Get your tickets now.

(via collegehumor)

June 25, 2014 at 3:22pm
18 notes

"Super Feud." I had never seen this before, but it really made me laugh. Swayze’s great.