Seal and Heidi Klum’s Divorce Agreement
Seal and Heidi Klum are getting a divorce. I saw Seal in Whole Foods this weekend and this court document fell out of his bluejeans. It divides their assets. Turns out they have the same normal ol’ relationship problems the rest of us do. Here’s who gets what!
- Heidi Klum - Diamond-encrusted lingerie
- Seal - Deed to glacier where Seal proposed to Ms. Klum
- Klum - Wearable angel wings
- Seal - Treble-clef-shaped jacuzzi
- Klum - Colossal oil painting of Seal & Ms. Klum Eskimo kissing nude
- Seal - Living tulip large enough to wrap a newborn baby in
- Klum - Something they call a “fuck sarcophagus”
- Klum - 300 B&W photographs of Seal & Ms. Klum Eskimo kissing nude
- Seal - Replica Batmobile form “Kiss From A Rose” shoot
- Klum - Actual Batmobile
- Seal - Pet seal named “Heidi”
- Klum - Pet heidi named “Seal” [the heidi was thought to be extinct]
- Seal - Marble sculpture of Seal & Ms. Klum nude, joined at the groin, rising from a flame of passion, Eskimo kissing
- Klum - The Toyota
